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Even if I never show any of my femminity externally I still want to be known as an androgyne well because thats what I am.
Yes this is a popular dilema as Rebecca said in the earlier post. Even those that dress androgynous in different degrees, even dress fully as one or the other have the problem as zythyra aptly pointed out, as well as many others in the androgyne invisibility post at http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,15591.0.html.
Tay wrote a letter for Tay's best friend at http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,15591.msg119662.html#msg119662 in that post which I think is a great idea. One can learn much from the strategies gays, lesbians, and transsexuals use to come out to family members, coworkers, and friends using such tools like coming out letters. Certainly being an androgyne does present a slightly different probably less known terminology and descriptions. Hopefully some great ideas through this and other discussions can lead to wonderful ideas, unique to androgynes, in revealing our unique and individualized feelings.
And even ideas like no_id's journal entry http://www.acornrack.com/no_id/ and some of Marq and Mia's posts in hir blog http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,192.0.html are some examples that pop in my head of great writings to share others to explain how you feel and are.
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The questions is how do you come to terms with being an andgroyne and maybe be even ready to come out? I was actually happy at first to know what I really was gender wise but now I;m finding it hard too accept.
I think only self exploration and interacting with the world with that self knowledge can only lead to self acceptance. Its sorta a self "trust" or "knowledge" that you are the person you think you are.
If one is having problem even after self knowledge and self trust, then common steps such as this might help or something like this.
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Process Of Acceptance
Acceptance exists at the core of your being. It is your default status. In order to reach this base level of acceptance, you need only remove the items laying on top. To do this, you must first identify all the things you do not accept about yourself. Then, one by one, eliminate them by examinging and questioning your beliefs around that issue.
Know yourself and your beliefs
Take a good hard look at your honesty level
Know you are doing the best you can
Relax your value judgments
Examine guilt
Understand your motivations
Ask yourself questions about what you don't accept
Acceptance exists at the core of your being. It is your default status. In order to reach this base level of acceptance, you need only remove the items laying on top. To do this, you must first identify all the things you do not accept about yourself. Then, one by one, eliminate them by examinging and questioning your beliefs around that issue.
Know yourself and your beliefs
Take a good hard look at your honesty level
Know you are doing the best you can
Relax your value judgments
Examine guilt
Understand your motivations
Ask yourself questions about what you don't accept
I just found this on a religion sharing page, but some of the principles can be used since androgyny can be as foriegn to others as 2 different religions.
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ACCEPTANCE 101
(Remembering Trust of Self)
1. Acknowledge that I am within physical focus, that I choose to belong here, that I am here and that I am a glorious being.
2. Acknowledge that within physical focus I hold belief systems. They are not good or bad. They do not need changing or eliminating. They may be accepted as they are my reality.
3. Observe myself within each moment, recognizing that I hold great duplicity and am not acknowledging of myself throughout my day.
4. Notice each time I discount myself. I need not be concerned with other individuals, or my other focuses, only myself in this physical focus.
5. Acknowledge my impressions and follow through on my impulses not concerning myself with others or their perception of me.
6. Notice the language that I use. This will show me examples of how I discount and compare myself to others.
7. Notice my responses, acknowledging that they reflect my beliefs and remembering I choose how to respond.
8. Look to myself and recognize that I am my essence, and that I offer helpfulness to myself at all times.
(Remembering Trust of Self)
1. Acknowledge that I am within physical focus, that I choose to belong here, that I am here and that I am a glorious being.
2. Acknowledge that within physical focus I hold belief systems. They are not good or bad. They do not need changing or eliminating. They may be accepted as they are my reality.
3. Observe myself within each moment, recognizing that I hold great duplicity and am not acknowledging of myself throughout my day.
4. Notice each time I discount myself. I need not be concerned with other individuals, or my other focuses, only myself in this physical focus.
5. Acknowledge my impressions and follow through on my impulses not concerning myself with others or their perception of me.
6. Notice the language that I use. This will show me examples of how I discount and compare myself to others.
7. Notice my responses, acknowledging that they reflect my beliefs and remembering I choose how to respond.
8. Look to myself and recognize that I am my essence, and that I offer helpfulness to myself at all times.
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ACCEPTANCE 102
(Remembering Trust of "Others")
0. Engage the present. Take initiative.
1. An individual approaches me with inquiries with regard to their experiences and in relation to their belief systems.
2. Do not respond initially.
3. Access through listening, engaging my inner senses also, taking into account belief systems of both myself and others.
4. Respond intuitively.
5. Arrange language to be accommodating and accepting of another’s belief systems as mine are the same, we are just using different words.
6. Remind myself that the point is not to change the perception or belief system of another.
7. The point is to offer information in a helpful manner and not being responsible for another’s reality.
8. Their reality is their reality and Reality. They are not experiencing unusualness, non-reality or lunacy.
9. Engage the present. Take initiative.
(Remembering Trust of "Others")
0. Engage the present. Take initiative.
1. An individual approaches me with inquiries with regard to their experiences and in relation to their belief systems.
2. Do not respond initially.
3. Access through listening, engaging my inner senses also, taking into account belief systems of both myself and others.
4. Respond intuitively.
5. Arrange language to be accommodating and accepting of another’s belief systems as mine are the same, we are just using different words.
6. Remind myself that the point is not to change the perception or belief system of another.
7. The point is to offer information in a helpful manner and not being responsible for another’s reality.
8. Their reality is their reality and Reality. They are not experiencing unusualness, non-reality or lunacy.
9. Engage the present. Take initiative.
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I am straight so how hard will women take it in relationships if I come out to them about my gender status? Maybe dating (male to female TS's) would be a good route too since I think they would be more than understanding about it. afterall some MTF TS's can be beautiful.
MtF TS I have read several great ones here at Susan's. As long as the orientations match up with gender identities. As well as the many other factors that it takes to be attracted and match up with each other. Local gender identity meeting places, events, might help there. Or your local GLBT places.
Not sure about the understanding. Maybe more of awareness. Though there are some that understand, there may be some that actually find acceptance and even attraction. I am not sure. Dont know any facts or experiences to support that idea.
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